September 3, 2007

Confession: I grow bonsai marijuana plants

It's true. I've worked very closely with my gardeners to come up with a hybrid that packs twice the punch into a leaf that is a fraction of the size. And they've actually done a pretty good job. I mean, talk about a high, man. Woo boy. Completely mellow and no paranoia. I've been growing these things for a while now, saving them up for special occasions like Steve's birthday and the day Ballmer gets fired. And the best part is that you can actually shape these plants. Like, I made one into Steve's head, complete with the glasses and stubble and everything, and another looks like Safra's bust. The one for Ballmer looks like, well, an asshole. The little buggers live forever, so I'm pretty sure it'll still be alive when they pull Ballmer's card. I'll have it gift wrapped for him.

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