September 26, 2007

I'm sponsoring a sorority

There comes a time in the life of every individual and institution where help is desperately needed. Maybe a loved one has died. Maybe the stock price has tanked. Or maybe funding is not available for your sorority, as is the case for the Alpha Chi Omega chapter at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. That's why I'm sponsoring these young women at my alma mater starting today. I have lots of good memories associated with their chapter, and when I heard they were about to close it, I knew had to do something. I had to act. I mean, you can't just let cultural icons and societal staples like this fade away. The fact that this Alpha Chi Omega chapter was about to run out of money is just more proof that America is allowing nihilism and a degradation of values to creep into the very fabric of our civilization. I'm really worried about us.

Anyway, I wrote them a check and Frank installed Oracle on all of their computers and they were very appreciative. Before we drove off, they gave us their phone numbers and told us to call if we needed anything. Frank, being the perv he is, said he would probably take them up on it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


I think this is great, and I hope you get proper credit for it. People just don't understand what a thoughtful, compassionate guy you are, always looking out for the good of others, especially those less fortunate than you.

Everybody thinks you're just some arrogant asshole with more money than he could possible figure out what to do with, always looking for someone to crush, or constantly on the make, flying or sailing around the world with his toys, like some overgrown adolescent.

Finally they can see the real Larry, the one who's looking out for the underprivileged and the best interests of society. Big ups to you!