September 6, 2007
This isn't funny
So I go to the Oracle gym this evening and find this hanging on the wall next to my personal Stairmaster. Yes, I'm still shaking. I mean, there are no words to describe something like this. It's just a random act of hate. Only it's not random. Somebody knew I was going to see this over my V8 and the Mercury News and then just lose it. They knew I would start crying and screaming and shit. Which is exactly what I did. The good news is that Oracle Homeland Security is taking fingerprints off the dart-board as I write this, so we should know who it was by tomorrow at the latest. To tell you the truth, I honestly don't know who would do something like this. Paris? Ballmer? Zuckerberg? Mickos? Schwartz? Some other turd? It doesn't matter now, anyway. We'll find whoever did this and... well, I don't know what we'll do to them. But we'll come up with something. Justice will be served, friends.
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You know, Larry, I think you should keep a close eye on your newest operative...er, hire. The one with the Machiavellian reputation. Think about it. This didn't happen before K. R. came aboard, did it? Of course, it's possible that it was just the sales guys blowing off some steam about their quotas, but you can never be too careful. You know what I'm sayin'?
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