September 12, 2007
When it comes to Sun's deal with the devil, the cure really is worse than the disease
Years from now people will look back at Sun Microsystems and say, Larry, what was the one event that fucked that poor little company once and for all? And I'll say, well, it happened on September 12, 2007 when Sun sold its soul to the devil. Captain Jonathan Schwartz was tripping on shrooms and decided to start shipping systems with Windows. He steered his ship into a pirate harbor teeming with lowlifes like the notorious and infamous Shit for Brains. And the rest, as they say, is history. Mermaids peed on the wreckage, etc.
Or, to put it another way, Jonathan Schwartz thinks he can fix Sun's identity crisis by getting a lobotomy. And it's stupid enough to work. At least for a little while, until the doctors come out and say, well, the operation was a success, but the patient died.