August 29, 2007

Steve's going to Burning Man

He calls me up this morning and is like, Larry, home slice. I need to ask a favor. Are you flying over Nevada anytime soon? Like maybe tonight? And I say, uhh, no Steve. I'm not, actually. And I'm thinking, oh shit. If Steve's dropping the slice-bomb he must really want something big. And then he's like, well, you know how I have that Apple thing on the 5th. I need to unwind before that, man. Get in some R&R at Burning Man. Maybe drop some acid and trip out on some shrooms. Maybe hook up with some hippie chicks to restore my reality distortion field and inner harmony. That and sip on some Miso soup while watching some big-ass man burn. It could be good, you know? Like, help me imbibe the vibe and prepare for my third coming. Then he gets real quiet. I can just see him sitting there with a hard-on, thinking about Apple taking over the world with its new iPods or whatever. And then I say, what's coming out on the 5th, Steve? And he's like, I can't tell you that, Larry. You know you've been black listed ever since you leaked that information about the G4 Cube. But drop me off at Burning Man? Please?

Turns out the turd doesn't want to drop $200 on a ticket. Instead he wants to parachute in. Make it look like he's some badass big wig who's above coming in through the gate. And you know I can't say no to Steve. So we're taking off tonight in the C-130. Hell, I might even land after I drop him, just to see what's going on down there. I heard Jonathan Schwartz was going. I'd love to take a picture of that dude while he's stoned and wandering butt-naked through the Nevada desert. Priceless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that the usual blog rumor hype is pretty mellow. Probably has something to do with over saturation. "Think different" doesn't really work when hundreds of millions of customers are thinking the same. But even with a low craposphere score, it will still get huge media coverage.

If only the Pope was as good a marketer as Steve. Maybe the world is missing the iCrucifix. It is a crucifix and a USB memory stick. "Secure your data transfers with Jesus riding stick."

I hope Steve is grooming his iMiniMe (or Me Mini? or Steve Nano?) to replace him some day, because you have to wonder what is going to happen when he retires or dies. Hopefully their market share will be large enough to weather that shit storm.