August 4, 2007

A reader asks...

"Do you really have a MiG? Because I think I read somewhere on the Internet that you have one, but then I watched this report on CNN that said you didn't. Now you're blogging about MiGs. What gives?"

Look, I'm not saying I have one. But I'm not saying I don't have one either. Yes, the press has reported that my MiG deal fell through or was blocked by the government or whatever. And that's probably what most people want to believe. I mean, let's be honest here. Would you really want to know whether or not I owned a Russian fighter aircraft? Would you really want to know about my dogfights with F-16s over New York City? Or how I fly the thing drunk and stoned with a beautiful woman straddling me? Or how I drop thousands of Santanic Surfers and Bad Religion CDs over the Bible Belt in my free time?

I didn't think so.

What I will tell you is that there's a bunch of under-paid turds working at the FAA. These FAA flakes have college degrees and think very highly of themselves. But they have their prices, just like everybody else. Assuming I did have a MiG in the United States, I probably would have paid a few of those people off. Just so you know, okay? That's not an admission of guilt.

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