August 14, 2007

A reader asks...

"Are you really Jewish? I know you're in Israel right now, and I know you were born to a Jew, but do you believe in God and go to church?"

No, I don't believe in God. That's just silly. You might as well believe in a giant pink fairy living on the dark side of the moon. Actually, I don't have faith in much of anything except myself and Oracle Corporation. And I only practice Judaism when it's expedient. I.e., when I meet a really hot Jewish girl or need to talk to the reporters at the New York Times or need to pray for better-than-average quarterly results or shipping an Oracle product on time. Oh, no. Wait. I don't pray for shipping an Oracle product on time. That's the customer's job.

Anyway, I think the underlying message here is to believe in yourselves and Oracle and our upcoming 12g release. Forget the stupid dogmas, people. Or, if you insist on believing in supernatural beings, know that God created Oracle on the eighth day. We're paying to have that written into the Holy texts. Because if it appears in the Bible, it must be correct, right?

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