October 22, 2007
Carl Icahn, pull my finger
When I was heli-skiing in Jackson Hole last week, I realized that the only thing more dangerous than getting between a grizzly bear and her cubs is getting between Carl Icahn and a dollar bill. Seriously. Because here's the thing. A couple months ago we were thinking, holy cow, Carl fucking Icahn is buying up BEA Systems and the dude is ready to sell. Like, now. So I told Charles to throw an offer together and mail it in to BEA ASAP so we could pop the champaign, fire up the mechanical bull, and start rocking my boats. But then Carl said, well, uh, actually no, the offer isn't high enough, and could we please come back with a better offer? As if he really knows how these things work. And as if he's had a lot of luck with the businesses he's invested in recently. Like, um, Motorola and Time Warner. Ouch, Carl.
Anyway, I'm really happy articles like this one about Carl have started appearing around the blogosphere. This butthead needs to be called out and revealed for what he actually is: A little old man trying to play a game of monopoly with real businesses. And to be completely honest with you, that kind of board-game mentality might work in places like New York. Hell if I know. What I can tell you is nobody fucks with Larry Ellison and gets away with it. So, yeah. This isn't over, Icahn.